We need to have a small talk.
I'm genuinely at a frustration point with writing these puzzles. A chunk of it is the fact that this is a competitive section of the puzzle world, but an even larger chunk of it is, as I said in the tweet, my having a fear of rejection and needing a way to get past it. I currently don't have that skill in my wheelhouse and it's been a thorn in my side for the past three Open Submission contests for Boswords. The niche audience is something I've already come to accept as a crossword constructor and as someone who, while having a combative and challenging personality, also tries to find ways to please others. I want to create puzzles that are unique and brutal (Croce-esque, even), but I also want to get published and live streamed and all that jazz and get seriously better at doing more "mainstream" stuff. I don't think that combination is helping me out when it comes to my sanity and my creative juices. Hell, it took me a combined "total" of 500 hours to write three contest submissions. I'm thankful for Matt having me on the Daily Crossword Links list, but ... I'm getting buried by algorithms (as are my fellow content creators). I'm getting buried by my own not wanting to listen to people who offer something helpful. I'm getting buried by my own anxiety, my wanting to please people in order to get attention. That damnable fear of rejection. I need to step away from writing puzzles for the time. Don't worry, I'll still have everything through Menace 24 ready, but I need to remember that when nothing seems to be going right, I need to try going left.
1 Comment
E
4/11/2023 08:32:54 am
Thank you for your puzzles. I hope you find some peace. Sending good vibes, and all that.
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AuthorAriel Haymarket (they/them, she/her, it/its, e/em/eir) is an annoying anti-authoritarian leftist residing on stolen Kiikaapoi land. New grids every first and third Friday and every second and fourth Tuesday. Archives
December 2023
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